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« Keeping at it | Main | Livermush »

Jun 22, 2012


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Someone near and dear to me once told me that men can "have it all" (career and family) because most of them have a wife who takes care of the family.

Looking back, I would advise caution to anyone, man or woman, who buys into the stereotypical "have it all" contest without really thinking it over. While you're out getting it all, a lot of other people are gonna be trying to use you for their own purposes.

If both people in a relationship want to "have it all?, they'll have just as difficult a time of it as anyone else, single or otherwise.

Americans insist on working longer hours than almost anyone place else on the planet. That adds to the syndrome.

But, as Buddha advised, it is easier to find satisfaction by scaling down what you want than believing you need it all. As you say, that involves making choices.

Morgan Glover

There are a few underlying assumptions with these types of articles that prevent the conversation from moving in a direction I would care about:

1. That there is such a thing as "having it all" personally and professionally. This is forcing the conversation to the margins of most people's life experiences. To me this is like the teenaged boy's fantasy of playing professional sports. It's a numbers game that most people are not gonna win.

2. That our economy and work worlds are permanent features of society rather than something that emerged under certain historical conditions and have limited lifespans.

3. That raising children and working for pay are the only things people care about or should focus on. There is also community and spiritual life and having the time and mental energy to be of service to friends, neighbors, etc. without getting paid directly for it.

Bill Yaner

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might get what you need.". - Jagger/Richards

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