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« Foxed | Main | Dick Wharton »

May 23, 2011


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I see. Humanity is once again the problem.

If so, we have found ourselves a government service that is ripe for budget cuts, the employees having rationalized themselves out of a job.


Frog seems to be exercised about this bear thing. Maybe we should arm some right-thinkin' tea partiers and send them out on bear patrol.

Bears show up pretty much every year around this time. Apparently, young males wake up from hibernation and go looking for territory to claim. A few wander far afield and end up passing through our streets. Can't see any self-respecting bear wanting to settle down in the Triad or the Triangle, so I'm sure they'll just move on to greener pastures. (Unlike Canada Geese, who have decided they like it here. Now, there's a real illegal immigrant issue.)

Anyway, a bear was sighted in Chapel Hill today. No local residents were savaged, I assume to the disappointment of some.

A. C.

The dumbasses who developed and bought into the shitty, vinyl-based "real estate" on the western side of Guilford County are to blame for this. Just sayin'....

Account Deleted

About three years ago I decided not to go to church with the inlaws and family while visiting the majestic mountains of Macon County. Instead, I went hiking atop the Cullasaja Gorge. Near the top overlook I got the distinct impression that I was being watched. In fact, a shiver or paranoia went down my back. I shook it off and walked on about five more minutes to the shelter. While there, some other folks arrived and said they thought they had seen a bear.

Being a city boy, I was a bit perturbed because it was an hours walk to the car and I wasn't interested in meeting up with a bear. After putting it off for about 20 minutes, I decided to make my way back.

Luckily I had picked up a map of the trail in the parking lot because about 10 minutes into the walk back I began to see bear tracks and freshly broken limbs. A few minutes later as I rounded a bend to approach a creek I heard splashing and said to myself "I really hope it is a human being."

No such luck, as a grown black bear came into view walking along the creek about 25 yards in front of me. It saw me and froze. I froze.

As I said, I am a city boy, but I had watched enough tv that I thought to myself, "don't move, let the bear make a move."

Well, he raised up on his legs and looked at me. I took a few steps back and hoped there were no bear cubs near me. The bear went down on all fours and ran about 20 yards up the trail away from me, stopped and looked at me again. After a few seconds, he took off running up the trail and out of sight.

Unfortunately, he was going my way. I made the executive decision not to continue on the trail. I took out the previously mentioned trail map and noticed the creek ran down to a road which was below the parking lot. So I hi-tailed it down that creek to the road and came out of the woods to the surprise of more than one motorist.

That's my bear story and I'm sticking too it.

Billy Jones

I think you'll appreciate my own close call with a bear.

And I really wish that bear cub would come visit my neighborhood-- I might even leave some food lying about.

Account Deleted

Good story Billy!


I've had two encounters.

One was local.

My plan had been to pour gasoline down the entrance of the yellow jacket nest followed by a match and some smoldering, but procrastination took its beneficial tole. One afternoon I noticed no insect activity in the vicinity of the yellow jacket hole and a closer look revealed that all that remained of the nest was a basketball sized void, the contents of which were apparently in the belly of a local Bear.

The second was in Yosemite.

Dusk was settling which meant there was a ranger talk in the offing. So the children and I set off on what had become something of a regular Ranger talk pilgrimage while on the national park circuit.

Halfway to the outdoor auditorium I spotted a brown bear nosing through the campground. I freeze stopping my oblivious children who soon also notice the bear. Of course, Yosemite has a plan for these regular occurrences which consists of sending slightly built high school girls working summer jobs after wayward bears with nothing more than yells.

Moments after realizing the bear had attracted a handful of budding photographers one of those 90 pound temporary Park Rangers appeared from the shadows of the trees across the bear from me ... yelling. This was effective as the bear quickly turned in fear and proceeded directly toward me and my three children in full lope. Having already frozen I was out of ammunition and left hoping that my children and I would not be trampled by a 500 pound bear spooked by a 90 pound teenager.

Fortunately, the bear took stock of me and wisely chose an alternate tact that resulted in two stunned bickers as it crossed their path and entered the woods and perhaps the Merced beyond.

Unfortunately neither our bears nor the people of our area are as well trained for encounters with one another.

Billy Jones

Hey Frog Face, I wrote you a bear poem.


Adversarial inspiration is inspiration all the same.

Glad to be of service and

Thank you.

Billy Jones

You're welcome!


News Release: Zach Matheny to hold press conference today to announce a daytime curfew for bears. Any bears found within city limits will be asked to return home immediately. This policy is the result of several months of discussion with a prominent Greensboro developer and so it will take effect immediately after the predetermined vote is held on Tuesday. No word yet on whether Chief Miller, or anyone other than the prominent Greensboro developer has been consulted on this matter.

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