I saw an old friend the other day, and I thought about what a great time Lisa and I had at her wedding -- it was, by my guess, the blue-blood lesbian social event of the year in North Carolina, a beautiful church service blessing the happy couple followed by a swanky reception at an old plantation near Hillsborough -- and I was reminded of the bass-ackwardness of the debate over gay marriage.

More people support the idea of "civil unions" than "marriage," but gay people can already have religious services to celebrate their unions at amenable houses of worship, with everything but the "by the power vested in me by the State..." part. They can enjoy the ceremonial consecration of their relationship, the aspect of gay marriage that seems to most bother opponents -- but they can't have the civil benefits that bother fewer people.

Maybe the state should get out of the marriage business altogether, and grant civil unions to all couples who want them.