How to fry a turkey: Go into your brother-in-law's back yard. Put five gallons of peanut oil into a large pot, boil over propane heat.
Lower turkey very carefully into boiling oil with long broom-handle-like stick held by self and brother-in-law, which stick holds up clothes-hanger-like metal handle of slotted metal plate on which sits the turkey.
Watch as steam shoots out the semi-submerged turkey's rear cavity. Lower bird the rest of the way into oil.
Stand around in sunshine trying to keep warm. Cook 3.5 minutes per pound. Remove via stick and hanger method. Allow to cool. Dig in.
My sister made an incredible dinner--all the fixings, served at a
table set with our grandmother's silver and our great-grandmother's
linen. It is the same table Sarah and I ate our Thanksgiving dinners at
growing up--she got our grandparents' dining room furniture when they
died. I tried to explain to Elijah that having Sarah cook this meal was
odd and nice and reassuring to me, that maybe one day he will have
Sydney and her family to his house for Thanksgiving, or vice versa, but
Elijah seemed more interested in his pumpkin pie.
After dinner, while I was washing dishes at the sink, Luna upchucked a bunch of black, peanut-oil-soaked dirt that she had eaten. This was greeted with good humor by our host and hostess--we are a dog-loving family to be sure. Now it's time for naps and football on TV.